*biting my tongue*

So, I find this rude. If youre going to introduce a person to the people in the room, such as a newcomer to your local sca fighter practice, you make sure to introduce them to everyone. This one woman in my shire, who manages to end up doing it every time, has now..not once, not twice, but on three seperate occasions introduced the newcomer to the room and stops at my guy and myself, as if we werent even there.  This has happened on three seperate occasions over the last couple of months.  I looked at my guy, who looked at me quizzically and then he said in a semi loud voice “What are we not here?  She must not be able to see us from four feet over.”  “Oh..I guess its cause we arent at her table that we don’t count”…”no, maybe she forgot our names?”  Nothing.

This person is a peer in our group. Now, I can understand it happening once. Maybe she got sidetracked in her thinking, anything. But three times? Now its just being billigerent.  I am not particularly fond of this person to begin with but this does nothing to improve my opinion.  If you don’t like me for whatever reason, there is no reason to be rude. I dislike a few people in my world, but I am always civil and respectful to them in a public setting.

I have just had it.

Courage and Kindness

This week, I was suppose to be vacationing with friends in Vermont. Due to an emergency on my parent’s end I lost my babysitting so I had to cancel that trip with friends. I am sorely upset about that as my guy and I desperately need a vacation. We had to cancel Pennsic due to health reasons. We havent had a vacation since Pennsic last year. I seriously need some time off.

So, instead this week I will be furiously prepping for Crown on Saturday. I have a couple of projects that I am working on. I want to embroider up the viking garb I have so I look spiffy for crown as I am being fought for.  I want to get the sketch on the ground fabric for the commissioned book for the laurel elevation done and pick out silks and perhaps start the embroidery. I also need to whip out some garb for the boys to wear as they have none except one summer tunic that were hand me downs from a friend. I found some fabulous striped linen fabric at my local event last weekend that would make great viking pants. I need to throw that in the washer and dryer to get it ready to cut out.

There is grocery shopping that needs doing but thankfully not a huge list. We are out of meats in the freezer. Ive got a hankering for a roast. Tonight will be tri tip on the bbq but after that all that is left in the freezer is ice cream, a pack of chicken, a couple packs of sausage and various frozen veggies. I have been in a rut in cooking of late. I want to utilize the crock pot more but sometimes the prep time for that is a lot and with getting the boys ready for school and out to their entirely too early bus pick ups there isnt a lot of time to prep food for the crock pot and get myself ready in time. I am torn: there are tons of recipes I want to try…ive pinned hundreds on pinterest but then i get home from work and I lack the energy and enthusiasm to do them. My guy has even said he is in a rut cooking wise (since he primarily does most of the cooking now).

I am making lists. What i want to make as gifts for Christmas (cause if we get the house, money will suddenly be tight), projects I want to do for the future, etc. Today I will do some christmas shopping for the boys (online of course) so I can get some of it out of the way. Lego sets and pokemon cards are this years desired gifts. Maybe a couple of games for the Wii and Xbox.

I have to say I am loving this warm weather. I would be just fine and dandy happy if it stayed all winter long. I am not a lover of the cold. I have walked outside several times today and just stood in the sun soaking it up like I am one giant solar cell. (picture Wall E)

Work has been good. Ive been back at the antique store for three months now. Its different than when I worked here the last time. The boss is calmer and doesnt fly off the handle like he use to. He’s actually fun to work for so far. He has made the passing comment more than once about Ryan and I taking over the business in a few years when he retires.  That one took me off guard. Till then, its a paycheck and it covers the bills and hopefully soon…a mortgage of our own.

So overall right about now life is good. Making plans. Hoping for the best.  Courage and kindness. Loving life, being brave.

Sleep is for the weak!

Second night of insomnia. Last night I woke at 12:30am and I have no idea why, but I couldn’t fall asleep. The night before I was woken at about 3:30 am from a nightmare where some blonde teenage boy had me cornered in a kitchen and was torturing me and stabbing me with sharp kitchen knives.  I am seriously feeling it right now too.  So we found out, the hard way, that my oldest son’s bus pick up time was changed to fifteen minutes earlier. I had some choice words with the bus driver’s supervisor at the bus company.  So yea, I had to drive him in to school this morning, which made me late for work and it was the one day since I have been there where the boss beat me to the office. Usually he doesn’t arrive till 930. **SIGH**

Obtained some lovely yarn from a sheep and wool festival this past weekend. My guy was such a good fiance and played the sherpa roll very well wearing a backpack and whenever I bought something he would just turn around and let me load him up. Thats love.  I went back the next morning as my kids wanted to go. There was a sale at my favorite yarn place and i got a bunch more for half price.  The kids got funnel cake and pizza and were happy for the journey. I had quality time with them sans my fiance (who said he can handle only one day of the festival).  I have enough yarn to keep me occupied over the whole winter.

Tonight…I am doing nothing. Maybe play some Warcraft. Embroider. Im mentally kicking myself because I forgot to take something out for dinner. Hell…my pot of coffee in the french press is still sitting there untouched on the counter because I had to run in the house, paint on some make up and run my son to school so he wouldn’t be late.  I was making myself a cup of coffee at the Keurig in the office before I had my coat off.  **thanks God for the coffee machine at work**

Its suppose to be near 70 today after the last two days of high 40s low 50s. But, like the fall/winter weather of my area…its overcast and dreary.  As someone who suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder, this weather sucks for my emotional state in the cold months. I am a summer girl. Bring on the heat! Especially if there is a pool, ya know?  I just turned on the space heater near my desk so as not to annoy the boss with me wanting to turn the heat on and get the dampness out of the air.  Also donned the fingerless gloves.

I want to grump about something (I know this shocks you). So a friend was getting handfasted (not quite official marriage, in their eyes). She asked me to make something for the ceremony. She told me when it would happen next Spring. Wanted me to come. I find on facebook this morning (2am), she had the ceremony this past weekend. Never told me. Never said anything about doing the embroidered piece. No invite. Nada. I have to say it angered me some and I felt snubbed and insulted. It also hurt.  If I had a chance of falling back to sleep it disappeared after I read that.  Im sure there were reasons for it. Im sure it had to do with his illness her spouse has had, but hey..can you pick up a fucking phone and let me know? Common courtesy.  I wear my heart on my sleeve as much as I have tried to change that, grow a thicker skin, etc.  It gets punched a lot.

Anyway…i need more coffee. 3rd cup this morning. Do you blame me? Wish I could put some Bailey’s in it.

Today is a new day…(long post)

…thank god for that cause last night was horrendous.  Yesterday itself was great. Good day at work. Sold some stuff and made the boss happy. Scored an Xbox One for $150.00 bucks and its set up at the house now. Works wonderfully.  Then when I got home, it started. My oldest son that is autistic has a community hab person that works with him two days a week doing life skills and such.  Thurdays he goes grocery shopping and cooks a meal of his choice.  After last night I have learned that his caregiver must have no idea how to cook, which I should have surmised when she said she always leaves my place and goes to her moms house for dinner.  I have learned she also doesnt know what a fresh herb looks like. I asked her for a bunch of cilantro. What she came back with was a rotton lump of gunk. I asked her what it was and she said cilantro. I said its rotton. “It is? I thought that is what cilantro looked like”. All i could do was just blink at her in disbelief.  Other mistakes, which i cant understand how she did it were 2 gallons of 1% milk..I got 1 gallon of 2% milk.  Paper towels instead of paper plates.  MInd you this is all spelled out on the list. I printed so there was no mistake in my handwriting. And things came home not on the list like ice cream, toaster strudels and cookies.  Seriously? Not happy.

So they set to work cooking fried chicken. I told the lady to cut the chicken in half to make the breasts thinner to cook faster and easier. I mimiced placing my hand flat and cutting parallel underneath it. When i went in the kitchen, I saw she had laid the breast flat and cut it in half straight down. Now we have half breast thick pieces. WTF!!  Im screaming (in my head) are you a moron???!!! At that point I walked away cause I had to or I was going to lose my nut. She cooked asparagus too, but didnt use seasoning. I then realized when I was eating the dinner that she doesnt cook. Her fiance works nights and she goes to her moms for dinner. So she doesnt cook. Sigh. I will just be doing the shopping from now on.  She lets him buy junk not on the list and cant cook food to have…taste.   Yes im bitchy.

This weekend the kids are going to a scout camping overnight with their dad. i asked him if he wanted to do it and he said yes.  Its one overnight and then a day of activities tomorrow.  Last night when they were skyping with him, I heard him say he was going to leave them at 2pm because he had to get back to his girlfriend who would be waiting for him at his house.  My head came off. So, he couldn’t reschedule one weekend with his girlfriend to spend time with his kids. This means, he wont even spend a full 24 hours with them.  Just so you know, he is supposed to take them two weekends a month. If he sees them once a month, they’re lucky. He took them maybe twice all summer. Its work, then SCA, Girlfriend then his kids.  I vented to a friend last night and said some of the most horrible things. Things I never thought I would hear from me.  I want to say something to him but at the same time I feel he is digging his own grave. The last weekend of September he wanted the kids (with little notice) but we were suppose to go to my parents house for my Dads birthday and an SCA event. So, I gave the kids the choice: go with their dad for the weekend or go to see Pop-pop for his birthday on sunday and play with friends on Saturday. They thought about it for a minute and chose to go to my parents house asking to see their dad next weekend.  Internally, I was cheering my head off and doing cartwheels.  His lack of spending time with them opting to choose his hobbies and his girlfriends over them is taking its toll. I do not bad mouth him in front of the kids. Behind closed doors to my fiance (yes..more on that later) yes…but never in front of my kids. I am ever accommodating. If he is in the area and wants to visit the boys I am more than happy to give him the time. He even hangs at the house with them watches movies or makes them lunch. Im not thrilled with that but I bend to make sure the boys are happy.  My guy doesnt like it (or him) but he tolerates it.   When they chose to go to my parents I wrote a letter stating i needed more notice for taking them for a weekend than two days. I then listed the next four months worth of weekends of when we had plans with the boys and what weekends we did not. There arent many weekends that the boys MUST stay with us either.  He wrote back saying he’d take the weekend of the 1st of October. Nothing else.  **headdesk** I just throw my hands up in the air in defeat. I dont know what else to do and honestly I dont think there is anything else I can do.

There has been happy things in my life. On October 3rd my guy proposed to me in a romantic one knee fashion. It was so very cute. No date set, it’s not like we are going to have a big wedding. probably just us and a witness with a JP in some pretty setting.  Have a bbq later and invite friends and have my pretty wedding cake I want.

Right now we are seriously house hunting. Keeping an eye out for something we like and can afford. We have our list of things we want in a house but the big thing is to stay in the same school district. We are working with a realtor too.

Here is hoping its not too cold tonight. Im worried about that with my boys camping. Ive got them sleeping in sweats and hoodies with wool hats on and such. I may send them with extra blankets to wrap around themselves inside the sleeping bags.  I am praying they stay warm.

Tomorrow is  Sheep and Wool festival in my neighboring town where I will BUY ALL THE YARN!!! I cant wait. Friends are coming over in the evening and staying overnight. It should be chilly but fun tomorrow. cant wait.

Well, time to concentrate on work.  Have a good day peeps.

Huzzah!!! Something went my way!

I called my credit card company in regards to the dress I bought and after listening to me and hearing about my email communications with the company they refunded me the entire amount I paid for the dress! I am so happy!

I have the dress on ebay right now with a starting price of $25.00 but it has two days to go and no takers.

Oh well. Wonder if I could repurpose it in some way. You know…tear it apart and reuse the bits or something.

Im open to ideas if anyone has any.

Back To the Old Grind…

Well the boss is back and with him a souvenier box of belgium chocolates. Very sweet and unexpected considering before he left he said he doesnt bring home souveniers for people.  

I got a lot of embroidering and  Netflix watching in while it was slow when he was gone. Caught up on Witches of East end (which i hear they canceled..boo!), Once Upon a time and I was working on Supernatural. I think i was on last years episodes when i was watching yesterday.

I have been the suck at following any type of exercise program. I have been doing pretty well at staying low carb but have not done jacks shit in the way of working out and i have not been getting my water in. These things have to change. I have been wanting to get up and work out, like go walking but man..it is dark outside! I didnt want to limit myself to just the park i live in but with no real sidewalks around where I live i worry about getting hit by a car. So I am resigning myself to walking the circle in the park till daylight savings time hits. (when is that again?)

Embroidering like mad to finish trim for a friend. I have determined that I am just going to stay up late each night to get it done. with the boss back, embroidering at work is done so no more 8 hours of embroidering (while answering calls and selling). I WILL DO IT!!
Anyway..back to work. Coffee break over. Have a good one everyone!

Busy as a Bee….

My day had me down a bit. I had hopes he would go pick up the ring today as he indicated earlier this week, but, he did not. The jeweler is getting antsy for another payment or to pay it off and pick it up. I don’t blame him. He’s had it on hold for about three months now. I’m worried he’ll take it out of layaway and sell it to someone else.  I am pissed, upset, depressed and feeling rejection because of his delay.  Its affecting my mood.

I put the wedding dress up on ebay. I started it at 25.00. I dont really care what I get for it but I want it sold an out of my home. I think my credit card company is going to return my money to me since the company in China is not willing to fix my dress.  Can you say Charge back? I knew you could.

So, I kept busy today so as not to mope. He noticed and made a comment that “you seem grumpy”. YOU THINK!?!?! Anyway…today’s endeavors were as thus:

-Grocery shopped at 6am at Walmart then Sam’s, cause..well..I was awake and there were four boys asleep in the house that didn’t go to bed till 3:45

-Went to the post office to retrieve packages (2nd trip no less in one day), Dollar General to get Nutella (no judging!!) and hit the yardsale on the way home and got an antique sharpening stone, leather hole punch and a small dresser for the boys room
-Cleaned out my closet and drawers and got rid of three trash bags of clothing I havent worn in six months or more.
-Went through all my make up and got rid of old stuff, replaced the brushes, etc.
-Brought my jewelry armoire out of the closet and into the main bedroom now and hung winter coats in the closet
-Made 7 boys stay outside and play till 5pm (OMG IM SO ABUSIVE!!)
-Slaved over a hot phone and ordered pizza for dinner (Stand Back Giada!)
-Played Warcraft for a little bit and got my mage to 99.

I think I did enough for today and the sciatic nerve is reminding me of that. Time to get horizontal and knit and relax the rest of the night