Murphy Sucks and he’s in league with Sabra

I have been seeing a nutritionist in my journey to eat healthier and lose weight.  She suggests things like hummus and peppers or baby carrots.  So, I go to the grocery store yesterday and buy two containers of hummus and red peppers.  I package them up nicely this morning, determined to make this work and get on the healthy path. I will avoid the chocolate chip cookie and have the hummus and peppers when my weakness kicks in for a mid morning snack.

An hour later, I’m tootling around on Facebook and I see a post from a friend. Wanna guess what it says?! The exact brand of hummus I bought the day before, Sabra, was recalled because it has Listeria in it.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!!?!

I am gun ho and ready to eat right, start the exercise and am making the right choice and I get sabotaged and can’t even follow it because some company skipped a step in their packaging and i have listeria contaminated hummus that I can’t eat!!! WHAT-THE-EVER-LIVING-FUCK!!! Murphy, you are an asshole. Plain and simple.

Here is the article on it: http://www.wtsp.com/story/news/2015/04/09/listeria-in-hummus-prompts-national-recall-by-sabra/25504381/

I called the grocery store and they told me the garlic version I bought is fine, but to bring back the container of regular. I think I may bring back the garlic version too, just to be safe and never buy that line of hummus again.  I really want to try this recipe for hummus as I am a big lover of avocados: http://www.cookingclassy.com/2014/05/avocado-hummus/

This will sound silly but I am glad for my guy so much. He puts up with my paranoia….because I texted him earlier that it occurred to me…..I licked the spoon after putting a serving in my container for work.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Too Shall pass

It’s very hard to focus at work today.  I hate to say it, but I am glad that one client canceled for my 10 o’clock. About two yesterday afternoon, I got a call from a friend telling me another good friend of mine passed away yesterday morning.  It took the wind right out of my sails.  His health hadn’t been the best in the last few years but what took him was sudden and most likely not in relation to his illness.  I’ve known this man for at least twenty years but the last, I’d say ten years give or take is when we became closer.  He was a wonderful man.  He taught me so much. He inspired me so much. I spent several overnights at his home hanging out, laughing, drinking and eating good food.  They were great times and great respites from when my marriage was going bad and he managed to still make me laugh and divert my thoughts.  It makes me sad though to think he died alone.  He had found someone before his health took a turn but it was a distant relationship (miles not emotional). When his health started getting bad, the relationship ended.  He more than anyone in my opinion, deserved to be happy and have that type of love in his life.  I regret not seeing him more often. Once my marriage ended and I was a single parent, the over nights with my friend stopped because I had no sitter and almost no time.  I would see him at the recreation events and we’d catch up then.  I saw him about a month ago at an event and got several pictures of him. I also got some hugs and short bouts of conversation.  It was a busy day. Im glad i got that bit with him, brief though it was.  One of the things he use to do was experimental cooking.  One weekend I was visiting he was cooking salmon with capers. Then, once cooked, he crushed it up and put it into a cream type alfredo sauce and served it over pasta. As he cooked this meal, he had a blank notebook he’d write down what he was doing so that if it turned out to be very tasty he could repeat it later.  When i saw him cooking this meal, i have to admit that inwardly I was kinda thinking the meal looked gross. Then I tasted it and was sorely mistaken. I had a second helping.  I was so full but oh my goodness it was tasty.  He was so talented. One of thos individuals that suceeded at whatever he attempted, though he use to confess he sucked at counted embroidery.  If memory serves me he could sew, embroider, cook, cast in pewter, recreate illuminated manuscripts and pen gorgeous calligraphy, write period texts, research like a fiend any topic accurately, and man did he have panache. He is what I strived to be and never accomplished.  I wish I’d had more time. Made more time. Now, there is none.  Its heartbreaking. I was in shock when i got the news. I cried a lot and was grateful for my own office for that fact.

On facebook, a friend shared a poem that was written by another friend of hers. Im going to share it here because it makes you think.

The Dash
by Linda Ellis copyright 1996

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

I wish I’d had more time with him.  I was blessed and happy to call him friend. And damn it, I never did get that salmon alfredo recipe.

Once Bitten…

Up until today, it seemed it was warming up (currently 37 degrees here and “frozen mix”).  This weather has made me decide to go grocery shopping on my lunch. It’s cool enough to leave in the car for a couple of hours till I get home and get the slav..er…kids to unload for me. 😉

This is also the time that the spring cleaning bug and the CRAFT ALL THE THINGS bug bites me. They are very conflicting bugs too because one really needs to be done, the other is a great desire to be done.  I have a long list of things that fall under the spring cleaning, of which, once done, will make the house look much nicer (well as much as it can with its late 80s decor that the slumlord won’t let me update) and less cluttered. Serious sift and chuck mode is on me. Yesterday I worked on a corner cabinet in the kitchen and trashed a ton of crap.  I went through all the pens and tested them, trashing the dead ones. All pencils with no erasers that the kids will now not use went in the trash too. I still need to do the two shelves underneath but it’s where my guy has stored a lot of his hand woodworking tools. He will need to assist with that. But the shelves on top look dusted, neat and tidy. I’m happy. I am almost to the point of crossing that one-off my list.

My craft list, however is long and mighty and mildly ambitious. As I said before I have five things I’ve committed to making and then I will not take any on any more work. I have my own list of things for myself, kids and my guy I want to start and work on. Not to mention, a barrage of things that are only partially done.  I have tons of sock yarn to knit socks for myself and family. My sock yarn supply slightly over fills a 20 gallon storage tub. My guy has made me promise to knit my stash down some before I buy more. I truly try to stick to that promise but sometimes..there is this skein..that i know I wont find again..and…and..well the pile grows. LOL!  Embroidery projects out the yingus that I want to do. Embroidered book for myself, garb for me, the kids and my guy and I want to encrust them with embroidery. I have a tapestry that is a replica of the unicorn tapestries that ive been working on for…oh…ten years. Id like to finish that and hang it over the mantle like they did in medieval times.  Then there is the pinterest page of things I want to embroidery that would most likely, take a lifetime and a half to do.  Oh yea…I am an online gamer too so I want to finish leveling up the rest of my toons on World of Warcraft to level 100 and get them sparkly gear.

There never seem to be enough hours in the day.  Damn this work thing for getting in the way. 😉  I need to be independently wealthy so I can just pursue my hobbies.

So, for now, I will slowly click off one thing at a time. Each day do something that strikes my fancy, after I’ve finished washing dishes and doing laundry or making sure all homework is done before they jump on their tablets and zone out. (can’t wait for warm weather when I can throw them outside to play!!)

Well, duty calls. So does my stomach. LUNCHTIME!!!!

Mirror, Mirror

It was a spastic holiday.  I love my family but I’m starting to think we should do holiday’s on our own.  I love my sister’s kids but oh my gawd are they undisciplined brats sometimes. I swear her youngest already has compositionally defiant disorder.  The stubborn obstinate streak in that kid is just astounding. I had to use previous job skills  of working with kids like that on my nephew to get him to follow directions.  There was constant screaming, yelling, crying and temper tantrums.  We left shortly after five on Sunday.  I so hope they grow out of this.

Monday, I had a massage. A glorious, wonderful, damn near nirvana massage.  I didn’t sit up when done, massage drunk either (which the last time i had one turned out to be me getting sick with ear and chest problems).  The therapist was wonderful, sweet and could tell things wrong with my body and compensate to not cause pain but to loosen things up and make them work.  I was so concerned about my size going in there (as I usually get some skinny little thing with not a lot of hand strength) and she was a plus sized woman as well with just a wonderful air about her. I instantly liked her and determined I would stay with her and her service. Monday I am getting a facial. I walked out of their feeling so good and in such good spirits.  Very relaxed, but not ready to fall asleep.  I can’t wait to see how the facial goes.  But, when I was finished and I dressed, I took a deep breath and stood in front of the full length standing mirror she had in the room. I looked myself over and determined, I didn’t look too bad in my outfit and I didn’t feel disgusted at my image. I have to start learning to love myself. I can’t hate myself. It’s not healthy. I can hate what has happened to me and the side effects of it, but I have to love myself and feel good about myself. I am making healthy changes in my life and starting a new program for fitness. I have to say it to myself. When standing in front of that mirror, an overwhelming urge came over me (which I suppressed) to say “Mirror, Mirror on the wall..” Instead, I just said, “I love myself.” I repeated it three times and breathed deeply. There was no overwhelming urge to cry when I saw myself in the mirror. I didn’t feel disgusted. Whether it was feeling good from the massage or all the supportive comments I got from my online support group yoga site, I felt good about myself at that moment.  I felt happy. (And greasy from the lotion…I was shiny too. LOL!)

I drove home happy and had a nice evening with my family. It has been a week since we were under the same roof. I missed it.  Im so glad they are home.

Yesterday I made the “Spring Cleaning” list up of things I want to do in the house. It looks like a bomb went off in it and I’ve got that “Sift and Chuck” vibe running through my veins. There is a Looooonnnng list that I have written down pinned to the fridge. I figure if I can tackle one a day, I should have it done in about two weeks. My kids groaned when they saw it when they saw the “Sift through the kids closet” number cause they know it means that toys will be pared down. Tonight is scouts, so I think I will pick a shorter one on that list and click it off tonight.

Ridin the Roller Coaster

All I can figure is it must be PMS. That, or an extremely stressful week between my guy’s job, his granddad dying and missing my kids.  Perhaps its a perfect storm from all of it.  I dont know. All i do know is I feel like I can cry at the drop of a hat.  If it is PMS I cant rightly tell honestly. I have that Merina IUD and I havent gotten a period in over 15 months. They say you still get the hormonal rollar coaster ride but no cycle.  I use to have an app on my phone that tracked it but when my phone was upgraded, the app info was deleted and id have to figure out my last cycle to tag it in so I can see. Well…my memory ain’t good enough to remember when I got it in January 2014.

Does anyone else have this happen with their IUD? The emotional roller coaster? It only lasts a day or so and its either two boxes of tissues bawl fest or the Im angrier than a hornet’s nest.

To top it off, I find, what looks to be a great opportunity for him doing carpentry, his specialty, and when i offer to make and send a resume for him, Im told it makes him feel demasculated.

Wow. Ok then.  I suppose I’ll leave it up to him. Let him decide if he wants to go for it or stay suffering with the douche canoe boss.

Obviously this time around there is a little bit of bitch with my bawl.

I think I’ll go get some chocolate. And a big pitcher of sangria.

Learning to Say No

I suffer from a terrible case of helium hand.  I know I have said this before.  I tend to volunteer for things or volunteer to make something for someone else.  To the detriment of myself and my family.   I have the ongoing project list.  (Doesn’t every scadian?) I have been telling myself that I will say no to further projects for other folks.  On my list are five left for others that once finished, I will start making things for me and my family.

The remaining five things are:

1. A joint project where I am embroidering a book cover and binding the pages that someone else sent me to make a gift book.

2. An embroidered viking/celtic-oid tunic for a friend that sent me the fabric

3. This one is a birthday present, but I am including it on this list anyway..an embroidered apron dress for my very good friend (who is too far away to party with in person on her birthday)

4&5 go together I was requested to make two book covers embroidered for Pennsic war gift baskets.  Those are not due till the end of July if I recall.

Now, I also have a very long list of things to do for my family which I may mix in between those, sort of have more than one project going on.  I’ve had a green tunic sewn but not finished for my guy waiting in the wings for…months. My kids need new costumes as they have one they have been wearing constantly and they are starting to get a little young on them.  I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a new piece of garb made for myself, but, I tend to not like what I make for myself because it never fits properly. And then I see myself in pictures or in the mirror wearing it and then..well spiraling happens and crying and snotting and well….two posts back we know how that goes.

I have been over extending myself for a long time. I have stepped down from an office I have been holding with my local group.  There is only one more year of cub scouts left and then I won’t be a den leader anymore.  I’ve started turning into a home body now that my guy is in my life.  Where I use to go to everything when I was single and it was just the kids and I, I am now finding sitting home and relaxing and enjoying family time is more preferable. I suppose the fact that I don’t really fit in with the local group helps in that decision but still, I find that I am pulling away a bit from the historical recreation group.  I feel burned out a little bit. Its time for a break.

But until then..tonight..I start one of those projects on my list. I will have them done before the start of the summer if I can help it.
Wish me luck!

Scheisters Among Us

So, my guy works for a scheister. A true dyed in the wool scheister.  I mean, this man is the epitome of the word. I honestly do not know how this man has stayed in business for as long as he has.  He imports antique furniture from Europe (lots of it filled with active wood-boring worms) and also does custom hand carved marble and cast iron products that he has factories in China make.  He cuts corners where ever he can and not in a good productive business decision kind of way.  I know all that goes on behind the scenes because I worked at this same company for the same man for nearly a year.  I know all the behind the scenes bullshit he pulls on his staff and his customers.

My guy stays there so he can build time at a company for his resume, but let me tell you, he is stressed.  There are so many things I could list that in the last month alone he has dumped on my guy to handle that goes outside of his job duties it blows my mind.  I am seriously angered by it.  This morning was just another example.

At 6:30am, he called and asks my guy to drive to a neighboring town that is half hour away, to get a check out of some friend’s car that they left for him, and then run and deposit into the business account before a certain time, because he over drew his account.

REALLY!?!?!

Apparently he owed a company money for storage fees of some import container.  He of course in his cheap ways didn’t feel he had to pay it all. So when he gave his credit card number to the company he told them they were authorized to only charge for one day of storage.  They charged for the entire amount he owed.  Technically it is wrong, but hell, i don’t blame them for doing it. They have worked with his cheap ass before and know his ways.  So that is why he had to scramble to borrow money and ask my guy to rescue him and deposit it.  He is on vacation in Italy so he can’t do it himself.

Hmmmmm…me thinks I see where his funds tend to go.

This guy now falls into my “waste of oxygen” category. There are very few that are in that category, but he is now at the top of the list.  He makes me seethe.

I tell you..this kid free week is not turning out to be anything like I pictured.

Meh.

(If anyone wants to know the name of the company so as not to purchase from them, feel free to send me a message. The business is on Ebay too)